Hi Stephen, wow these are really convicting thoughts for me as a conservative Mennonite, thinking about how I interact with my own neighbors and what my motives are. Thank you for sharing. I do think it’s important not cast everyone into one box, because there are many different individuals and experiences within the Mennonite churches, and also to let God be the judge of someone’s salvation experience.

I know this is an old conversation, but I just happen to be searching on the Internet to see if anyone has been dealing with the situation I feel, knowe exists in the Mennonite Christian Fellowship church I’ve attended for the last few years. I’m not Mennonite by birth, far from it. Yet I felt called to separate from the world (to stop participating in it’s sinfulness). So I tried Amish first Elmo Stolls community back in the 1990s. Then a few years ago I tried the local Mennonite church. It didn’t take long for God to speak to my heart about how ungodly, unloving their culture has become. Everything is ritual practices. The holy kiss, the style of dress, the ritual practice of inviting you to their home after church on Sunday. Yet they lack any real love for their neighbors. They have a complete unwillingness or desire to get involved with the community or world around them, to help with the problems that their neighbors are struggling with. Their attitude is, ” they can become like us is the solution” . They seem to think that changing ones outward appearance, changes ones heart and actions. The fact is, in my experience, is that the Mennonites do not practice modesty at all !!! Their outward appearance seems to be more important than inward change of heart.. in fact, I’ve never run into a Mennonite that had a born again experience, a real change of heart to serve God by serving their neighbor as Christ showed us. In fact,just the opposite with most Mennonites. They emphasize daily that everything is to revovle around the ” brotherhood” . And if you’re not in their brotherhood, you’re unimportant, and unworthy to be helped.
They are in my experience the most snobbish group of uncaring people, I’ve ever encountered. They have no concern, and will take no action to reach out to neighbors, for fear of contaminating their community. Yet they’ll go to Africa to evangelize, to convert people to act and behave as coldly as they do. In other words,they seem to glorify themselves, and to hell with God and their neighbor.
I’ve read the writings of Menno Simon’s, the Mennonite church back then was a totally different church in every way you can possibly imagine. There was no brotherhood in the way it’s practiced today. Divorce and remarriage was permitted for the victim who’s spouse committed adultery. They didn’t have the harsh and stoic practices that conservative Mennonites practice today. In fact, by today’s Mennonite standards, they wouldn’t be considered Christian.
Maybe it’s me. Maybe I’m looking for too much. But from my experience, all the churches have lost their way,and are practicing dead rituals, instead of life giving Christ.

Esther, you know, the thought has never occurred to me that our emphasis on distinction has more to do with maintaining lines between us or aligning us with certain groups than it has to do with with separation from the “world”…but I think there’s a lot of insight in that. Agree with your conclusion 100%.

I like this thought very much…we cannot dwell on the church standards to keep us separate…but on the Biblical principles behind the standards. Only when we live above the standards can we be as Romaine Stauffer also said… we are separated to God!! A quote I just copied the other day that I am still pondering…Obedience isn’t Legalism, its a symptom of Salvation. -CS Lewis

These issues are so important; weighing the answers is something I’ve done for years. We may not all agree on the details of clothes, music, and so on, but I see, in all of the comments, a desire to protect faith and purity and an awareness that this won’t happen by accident – we have to be intentional about our lives and our faith, even in very prosaic, mundane, daily matters like choice of clothing, music, church, reading material, and so on. We are affected by what we see, what we read, who we are with. So I agree with the urgent earnestness of many of those who left comments, that these decisions matter.

Worried by society’s unbridled embrace of the latest inventions or notions, I’ve read books like The Amish Way by Donald Kraybill and Living Into Focus by Arthur Boers. These men write, in part, to restore readers to healthy practices largely lost in a society that is fast and technologically driven, a place where people are often restless and lonely.

I am from the other side of the fence. I grew up in the faith, but attended public school. Spent my childhood summers running around the streets of inner city Toronto. Attended two secular universities. Worked in many non-Christian places. Is it possible to be in the world but not of it? Should we be concerned with the letter of the law or the spirit of the law?

These are good questions. Hard questions. I’m not sure I know the answers. My faith is going to look different from my parents’ faith. The spiritual books that move them are different from the ones that move me. Can I attend a church where worship includes dry ice displays, flashing lights and very loud music, and still be set apart? Well, I think I can. I spent a few years blessed by the love-driven mandate of a seeker-friendly church that was growing – conversion growth – quickly. I joined a small group and met women who knew that God had rescued them – RESCUED them from things I could hardly imagine. Their love for Jesus was profound. Moving. Was this church answering God’s call? I think so. Did I stay there? I didn’t.

I believe one of the most important things any Christian can do is question how daily choices affect the life of faith. How will having a TV affect me, my marriage, and my children? Is a steady intake of secular books impacting how I think? What does my clothing communicate about who I am and what I value?

We won’t all end up with the same answers. We are all different, after all. And our answers may change as we change, or as the world changes, or as the season of life we’re in shifts.

But asking the questions is so important. Thank you for raising these issues, Lucinda.

In response to the 3 questions, distinctiveness is desirable but it must spring from a heart that is genuine about applying all bible principles. True Christianity starts in the heart and will be seen in our actions and outward appearance. Heart, actions and appearance cannot be separated. But along with true Christianity comes a heart of humility and a attitude of love toward others that shows we care about them and we dont think of ourselves as better than others. People will be able to detect what attitude is driving our lives. And it will also affect how I deal with internet…a heart focused on God will choose what honors Him. The life of Christ is such an inspiration to me…He was distinct from those around Him yet He reached out to them in love, it didn’t alienate him from them. And when faced with temptation, he chose what pleased the Father.

The essence of Christianity is non-resistance…that’s an interesting thought. My dad has already said, and I’ve always remembered that the mark of carnality is force, so that would go right along with that thought. If you see someone trying to force or pressure someone else to live or follow the Bible a certain way, that is not spirituality, that is carnality.

I hope people will be changed and touched through my books. Thank you for that encouragement.

I agree that our walk of life should be distinct regardless of our dress. I am trying to learn to listen to the Holy Spirit for every day choices. Thank you for this encouragement.