Thank you, Regina. I appreciate those prayers. Know that I am in a better place now, emotionally, than I have been for a very long time. Writing helps me process and heal.

I am sorry for your loss. I understand your grief and feelings of self blame. I think when we lose something we tend to blame ourselves, whether or not it was actually our fault. To punish ourselves somehow for the pain?

I am learning a lot from Ivan about how to help other people deal with their issues, should I ever be needed. A lot of it involves not having too many quick answers and ready solutions, and just being willing to listen. :) That’s something my mom has taught me, too.

I’m glad. :)

Jesus is Always. Yes. And I get the thing about wishing to communicate that you are not so different, really, in spite of outward, perhaps more conservative appearance, and that you do and could relate on so many levels. But that is so HARD to communicate sometimes.

Thank you, Linda. I can tell that you “get” it. Sometimes I think I over-dramatize things. I don’t mean to; it’s just my in-built perspective. So then I relax and give myself permission to feel deeply, since that’s the only way I am able to deal with my emotions in a healing and growing way..

How wise Ivan was, to listen and allow you to make your own call.

This has been a year of huge changes for you: rural to urban, teacher to student, single to being engaged. No wonder you are a muddle. You will get through this in time, Luci! Of that I am sure!