Mennonite is a pretty broad term that Christians of widely ranging practice and belief systems use to designate themselves. Many brands of Mennonite actually differ more from my family and church in the way they believe and practice than do certain groups of Baptists or Amish or non-denominational Christians. So no, marrying another Mennonite is not the only option. Actually, I think myself and others often use the term “Mennonite” when what we really mean is “someone of similar faith and practice.” That is the important thing, but in this lighthearted post, I was gently poking fun at Mennonites and how we tend to relate to marriage, so…I used the term. 😊

There are many people who attend and are a part of conservative Mennonite churches who were not born Mennonite. Just like other Christian denominations, the choice is personal, not mandated.

And yes, many who are not “Mennonites” hold similar Biblical teaching.

I’ll let someone else go to the trouble of starting a Mennonite dating site. :) I am glad the blog resonated with you, and yes, let’s rock our singleness! I’m guessing that you’ve prayed about a partner, as I have, and if we’ve prayed, we can have confidence that God has a plan for us and, whether single or married, that plan is the best out there.

This post resonated with me. Mother’s Day and Father’s Day are nearly insupportable to me. So few people know how to fit single people into the world and those days really make that obvious.

Anyway, thanks for the blog. It makes me feel as though I’m not alone, however single I am!

Good point about the stigma of being a multi-girl asker. I’m glad you found a woman who loves you. And gladder that you still believe in God even if you no longer believe in Mennonite. There was a time and a particularly despairing blog post that I cried for you because I thought you’d given up your faith. This that you said I agree with 100%: “Christians should be known for their love for each other their faith to do the impossible, not for dressing funny and baking the best shoofly pie.” Amen.

“And no, Joel, I am not selfish or idealistic just because marriage has never worked out for me. (I lost my idealism in that respect after I reached twenty-four or so.) And no, I definitely do not keep a list. Anyway, in my experience, a guy is every bit as choosy as a girl in selecting a partner. I’m fairly certain you haven’t yet asked every single girl that you know.”

I wanted to clear two things up after reading this in retrospect. First, I never said anything about you being selfish or idealistic. But I’m about 95% sure you would not have said yes to a date with me and wasn’t willing to take the risk of another painful rejection. Second, if I did ask every girl out that I know I would be branded as “desperate” or given some other nasty and undesirable label. Do you really want to be asked out by that guy who asked every girl he knows? On the orher hand, I’ve heard the bragging about turning down a dozen guys. There is no real stigma for being a choosy Mennonite girl.

Anyhow, I took my own advice in that blog and left. I’ve heard the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results. By that definition I was insane for most of my adult life. Not anymore though, I’ve turned away from my former delusions, I’ve given up on finding a place in the Mennonite culture, and have found a woman who loves me despite my not meeting the undefined and impossible Mennonite ideals I banged my head off of for years.

The funny thing is that the experience really broke me. I no longer see a veiled and plainly dressed woman as beautiful like I once did. It is certainly not something I will ask of my future wife. None of it is important to me anymore and for the better. Good riddance. Christians should be known for their love for each other and their faith to do the impossible, not for dressing funny and baking the best shoofly pie…

Good to hear it! Thank you. Whatever the Lord has for each of us, it surely doesn’t pay to be dissatisfied.