I was recently given a newly released devotional for sexual abuse survivors, No Shame, by Melissa Heiland, in exchange for publishing an excerpt.
I want to share the devotional from Day 21, titled “Committed No Sin.” The scripture passage that goes with this devotional is Deuteronomy 22:25-26:
But if out in the country a man happens to meet a young woman pledged to be married and rapes her, only the man who has done this shall die. Do nothing to the woman; she has committed no sin deserving death. This case is like that of someone who attacks and murders a neighbor.
Heiland writes: “The Old Testament contains many rules and laws. I am including this law to remind you of something important. People who abuse others are never coerced into doing so. The Bible says they are like someone who attacks and murders a neighbor. Other people may judge you and you might even blame yourself, but these things are all lies and confusion that come from the enemy. You are in no way responsible for the crimes committed against you. When these thoughts come to your mind, recognize that they are lies and speak truth to yourself. It is not your fault.”
Each simple, succinctly worded devotional in No Shame comes with a prayer and a writing or drawing prompt, such as this one from Day 10:
“Draw a picture of a bottle. Write words inside the bottle that represent your pain and tears. Remember that God see all of them and cares about them.”
This is a book I would have loved to have while doing jail ministry. I had many discussions with women who were hurting from past abuse, and No Shame would be simple and engaging for someone with limited Bible knowledge. This is also a book I would love to give to friends or acquaintances with extensive Bible knowledge who are abuse survivors. Simplicity aids truth, I believe.
No Shame is not intended to replace the guidance of a mental health professional, but is a helpful and easily accessible aid for anyone walking a journey of healing.
*Feature photo credit to Kathy Zimmerman.
Rape is such a horrid act. It takes a common method of intimate communication and turns it into a source of intimate pain. Its effect is to attempt to destroy the humanity in the person being raped, as the person doing the raping is attempting to gain some sick twisted measure of intimacy or narcissistic fulfillment themselves.
So while the act of committing rape should be then another word for pain and evil, the act of being raped must trigger in us the recognition that the person in front of us may have had their very humanity damaged.
We don’t have an emotional and spiritual hospital program for healing from rape, but we should. Frankly, for both parties.
And we must begin by affirming that those who were raped are not at all at fault. That must be first.
However, as the parent of three boys in college, and the uncle of two other college-aged nephews, there is a power to claim “rape” as a morning-after decision that needs to be factored in as well. Life is not simple in these affairs, much as we wish it were.
Thanks for sharing. Trusting it may encourage someone who is hurting.
I was raped by jasen buncy from apt e across from me and he b raped me on his bed. I couldn’t even to move and he wouldn’t let me scream for help, i said no and he touched me with his hands and lips too.