Hi Julie, it’s really good to hear from you. I don’t know the answers…I am still trying to learn with my one child how to do togetherness well. And I know I have heard moms from my church group who have 4-8 children hear advice on spending time with each child and be like “How on earth am I supposed to accomplish that?” When I was a child, I remember feeling like we spent time together as a family…but I very rarely had individual time with my parents. There were 8 of us children and we spent a lot of time playing together with our siblings and sometimes working/reading/eating/talking with the whole family. It was a lifestyle more than any gigantic effort my parents made. You have a difficult situation with so many doctors appointments. That would really break into your routine and time together and there’s not a lot you can do about it. That’s okay. I think the Lord and your children understand. A few together times in a day like storytime and a meal or two really mean a lot. I don’t think we need to overthink or stress about creating a perfectly ideal situation.

Thanks!

I love that!

My mommy group is reading a book by Sally and Sarah Clarkson right now, something about creating a home, and one thing they really bring out is the beauty and bonding found in food and eating together.

Yes, well said. And I have a feeling that all the older grandmas and grandpas out there are shaking their heads and going, “Just let ’em grow up, honey. Things are never perfect. Give them love and hope for the best because that’s all any of us can do.”

Yes, I remember that your story and family experiences were very different than mine. If I remember correctly, you felt a sense of isolation within your family, cut off from the other members in your conservative Mennonite church and dominated by your dad. Feel free to correct me and also to share a link to your books and writing. Thank you for bringing out an important point and sharing another side of what can happen in a Plain Mennonite home.

Thank you for this, Susan. What sad stories, and wherever, however things like this happen, it’s important to make a place that feels safe to talk about it. I hope my blogging on parenting doesn’t set an idealistic image that shuts other people with different experiences up. That is not what I intend. I would love to publish the story of a woman who came through such a childhood and overcame it. If you know of one willing to share her story, please send her my way. :)