There are blonde jokes; we’ve all heard them. There are lawyer jokes and Polish jokes and yo’ mama jokes. And then there are Mennonite jokes. I like these best, in the perverse manner of humanity. We love to laugh at ourselves. Self-ridicule brings a proud sort of shamed kinship, ridicule from others solidarity.
Here’s my favorite Mennonite joke: What is a Mennonite dilemma? Free beer.
And this one: Wal-Mart was taken out by a tornado the other night. Four Mennonite women were left homeless.
These jokes float around in the air like vapor and condense on windows in different parts of the country. I do not know their origins.
A man from my church told me a Mennonite joke the other day, a joke he had told several times preceding to various members of my family. He is all farmer with a craggy, heavy face and a deep bass voice. As song leader, a favorite song selection at church services is “Trusting the Shepherd,” page 515 in the Zion’s Praises. As a humorous man who likes his chuckle after church, a favorite joke is this:
A Catholic priest went into a barber shop and asked for a haircut. When the barber was finished, he asked for the bill. “You’re a man of the cloth,” the barber said, “and active in the Lord’s work. I want to give you this hair cut free of charge.” The priest thanked the barber profusely and left. The next morning when the barber came into his shop, he found a beautiful bouquet of flowers waiting for him on the doorstep, with a note from the priest thanking him for his service.
Later on that day, a Jewish rabbi came in and asked for a haircut. “What is my bill?” he asked when the barber had finished. “You’re a man active in the Lord’s work,” the barber said, “and you do so much for others. This haircut is yours free of charge.” The rabbi thanked the barber profusely and left. The next morning when the barber came into his shop, he found a delicious cake waiting for him on the doorstep, with a note from the rabbi thanking him for his service.
Later on that day, a Mennonite minister came into the barber shop and asked for a haircut. “What is my bill?” he asked when the barber was done. “You know,” said the barber, “You’re a man active in the Lord’s work, and I appreciate all that you do. I want to give you this haircut free of charge.” The minister thanked the barber profusely and left. The next morning when the barber came into his shop, he found ten Mennonite ministers waiting for him on the doorstep.
The upshot of these jokes is obvious: Mennonites are cheap. We are shamed by this, but have to admit its partial truth. What more likely place to find a Mennonite than a Goodwill or a garage sale or the clearance section of a store? You love a good deal, if you are a Mennonite. If you are not a Mennonite, you might still love a good deal, but you don’t stick out so much, and so you are spared.
My personal reaction to the cheap Mennonite jokes? To do everything in my power not to appear cheap or stingy or schmoozy. Still, when I look in the Ladies’ Home Journal and see a sweater advertised for $140, I cannot help but feel righteous indignation. Most of my sweaters come from second-hand stores. Five dollars is about right. I never consider anything over thirty.
Here’s another joke featuring another laughed-about Mennonite trait:
Q: How many Mennonites does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Change?
True that.
Dad tells the story of a meeting he attended, a state-wide, plain-people affair. The subject of change, with its comparative values and cautions, was discussed, and a bearded Amish man drawled his staunch input from his seat: “Jesus Christ, the same yesterday, today, and forever.”
This is typical of the plain people. What other people group do you know who sport virtually the same hairstyles they did two hundred years ago? Mennonites fear change, because they fear the eroding of their scriptural values. Â This is not a bad thing. There is security in it. It’s nice to go to a church knowing there is a stretched-out community of people across the country who believe and practice very much like you, people you can depend on not to change much and who stick together like gooey caramel. If you are born a Mennonite, or become one, you live a Mennonite, you marry a Mennonite, you die a Mennonite. Those that leave the Mennonites lose something of their roots, a certain solidarity that stabilizes and grounds.
Besides the Mennonite jokes, there are Mennonite comments. If you are Mennonite, you know these. “Mennonites are such good singers.” “I love your cooking.” “I have a Mennonite neighbor−do you know him?” “Do you drive?” “Do you have electricity?” “Are you Amish?” “Are you Mormon?” and “Mennonites are good people.” Mennonite comments are usually complimentary. Many of them are deluded, but most of them are meant to be kind.
A few are annoying. I was once walking out of a restaurant when a jolly old farmer said to me, “Is that a beekeeper’s hat on your head?”
I chuckled politely−it seemed like the right thing to do−and did not reply.
He really made me mad, and I don’t get mad very often.
For the most part, I have learned to take Mennonite comments in stride: to expect them, to accept them, and even to use them. I become interesting as a Mennonite in a way I would not be as a generic American. People talk to me; they ask me questions; they want to hear what I have to say. I have grown to expect this; I think I would miss it if it was taken away. My family visited Lancaster County once, and walked into a gas station. Nobody glanced at us sideways; nobody stared; a passing Mennonite didn’t even acknowledge our existence. We felt…liberated? No. We felt common and un-special. We had grown so used to being different, being normal was a let-down.
Individuality is important to all people. They express it with tattoos and eyebrow piercings and tight jeans and mohawks. A few of them express it with old fashioned dresses and funny little caps.
I have found there is value in being different; it makes you very aware of who you are and what you would die for and the footprint you leave in the world.
I used to feel shy and self-conscious, walking around Wal-Mart with my dress and my beekeeper’s hat. Not anymore. Not since I’ve learned that the dress and the hat stand for something of immense value in a world of rapid change and tremendous insecurity. I walk with confidence and am proud to be who I am. If someone asks me, “Are you Amish?” I smile and say, “No, I’m a Mennonite.”
Again, I love this. :)
I enjoyed finding your blog and reading this, and former posts! I like the way you write, keep it up! It does feel rather odd to not be looked at when you go into town. :-)
Luci, dear,
A very nice post.
ten random thoughts
1. Laughing at yourself is rarely a bad thing.
2. Laughing at others is rarely a good thing.
3. The beauty of getting older is acceptance of yourself.
4…Your analysis of your specialness is very perceptive.
5…I enjoyed your jokes.
6. Someone other than you, told me Mennonites were supposed to be very cheap. I was a bit offended.
7. I love diversity. And so should all of us in this crazy quilt of a nation.
8. I prefer beehive hats to tattoos and piercings, but that’s just me.
9 Thanks to you, I know the difference between the Amish and Mennonites.
10 .Stay as sweet as you are.
Very nice, indeed.
I especially liked the top three on your “ten random thoughts” list. Very worthwhile. (I posted them on our ‘frig.) They should be added to the Complete LIVE AND LEARN AND PASS IT ON book.
Luci, I found your stuff the other day and couldn’t put it down. Thanks.
I Love My Dad! :)I’m Laughing to myself!!! Mennonites are very interesting humorous people! I Like this Post !
as always, a fun read!! :)
Well, as I’ve said, I used to be Mennonite (40 years ago) and the other day at work someone asked, “Did you used to be Amish?” (Guess the fact that I come up with a few Dutch words once in a while causes people to ask) I chuckled…I often have to explain the difference, and how I’m Baptist now…opportunities to share the gospel! People are very curious and I’m willing to answer questions. I have Amish second cousins in western Maryland…
Yes, I’ve also had a lot of opportunities to share the gospel because of people’s questions. Like Paul, said, “every way…Christ is preached, and I therein do rejoice.”
Some times the sun shines through on a cloudy day. Its genuine light. Not the shaded and jaded ambient kind that we can’t see things clearly that have clouded our judgement to be callused and blind to the real thing. So many opportunity’s missed because of how the world has perverted even the simplest random acts of kindness and compassion.
The Lord impressed me with this after my first reply
Luk 10:21 In that hour Jesus rejoiced in spirit, and said, I thank thee, O Father, Lord of heaven and earth, that thou hast hid these things from the wise and prudent, and hast revealed them unto babes: even so, Father; for so it seemed good in thy sight.
Luk 10:22 All things are delivered to me of my Father: and no man knoweth who the Son is, but the Father; and who the Father is, but the Son, and he to whom the Son will reveal him.
Luk 10:23 And he turned him unto his disciples, and said privately, Blessed are the eyes which see the things that ye see:
Luk 10:24 For I tell you, that many prophets and kings have desired to see those things which ye see, and have not seen them; and to hear those things which ye hear, and have not heard them.
Luk 10:25 And, behold, a certain lawyer stood up, and tempted him, saying, Master, what shall I do to inherit eternal life?
Luk 10:26 He said unto him, What is written in the law? how readest thou?
Luk 10:27 And he answering said, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy strength, and with all thy mind; and thy neighbour as thyself.
Luk 10:28 And he said unto him, Thou hast answered right: this do, and thou shalt live.
Luk 10:29 But he, willing to justify himself, said unto Jesus, And who is my neighbor?
We all know what the story was after this. I can’t help but think what those pious men thought as they passed by the man on the side of the road, “hmmmm musta been out all night carousing probably deserved it. Evil Man” Maybe ” He must be sick I sure don’t want to catch something” Maybe ” What a bum, lazy and especially on the sabbath to honor the Lord what a sinner” All these things come only by prejudice’s and hurts ultimately Fear. Who is the author of fear, only to cause doubt. Wherefore then do we put our faith in, our understanding? or in our Father in heaven?
Wouldn’t it be more important to be seen as a Christian, rather then Mennonite?
Spatzli, definitely the important thing in our Christian experience is to follow God’s Word and to leave a testimony for Christ. But we all have things that identify us, whether it’s our denomination, race, ethnic background, etc. It is a part of being human.
:) So true! But let’s be careful that being Mennonite is not our identity, & instead we are proud to be a Christian. Blessings as you follow HIm!
Thanks for a great reminder. Blessings to you too!
I have been researching family genealogy today and found I had origins back to the Mennonite martyr Hans Landes from Zurich. Thought would be good to end the day with some light hearted study of the Mennonite culture. I appreciate your point of view. As we mature we can take the “heat” of being different. I have had some good laughs.
Why do Amish look sad
Do Amish look sad? I hadn’t thought about it. :)
I worked with Pensilvania mennonites in MDS service . They are very good workers . I am amazed how the girls work so hard . I am mennonite too and came to canada in 1969 from Paraguay .I fly airplane , drive car and have electricity in my house and right now I am on my computer .Important is that you are born again and have the Lord Jesus as your savior
Yes, the Lord Jesus is the important thing.
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Christ is to be the primary focus of Christ followers, and thus I think this is often missed with the Mennonite population. Having been in situations many times where Mennonite shoppers seek to dicker for a better deal or out right take advantage of generosity. I just stand back and shake my head, if Jesus was the store keeper I do not think being cheap to the extent of down right cheating would be appreciated. The fact of the matter still remains, we work to live and as a result we determine our worth in terms of money. If a person seeks to take advantage of a person and negate his work to get the service for free then this would negate that person’s worth as a child of God. I believe this amounts to nothing more then greed. Spinning scripture to justify discounting other humans when your to be a Christ like servant towards them is miss-representation.
All I can say is there will be a time of atonement when Jesus calls everyone to review their lives and good works and at this time he will review your “life” looking at the good works and how you invested the gifts which where given. I believe that the Lord blesses us so that we can reach more for him, but much like the servant who hide riches under a rock greed will be punished.
Good thoughts and a good reminder to use our money as Christ would. Thank you.