A Child, A Book, and a Business Partner

She sleeps. I love how she throws her arms up over her head…she makes sleep look sooo good. I love watching her face when she is falling asleep, marvel at how she moves in half a second’s time from a red face, scrunched-up nose, and a mouth wailing her frustration to a look of utter peace. Only a child’s face knows such completeness. And it gives me such a feeling of power and completeness to know that it is only me, her mother, who can soothe her to sleep so quickly.

Her tiny heart is a treasure I do not hold lightly.

I have been working hard to juggle the pieces of my life — as every single person I know works, though we all have different pieces. For me the big pieces right now are caring for my child, helping to care for my father-in-law, working towards my communications degree, and marketing my newly released book, Turtle Heart.

Though I really, really hate that word — marketing. I stress over that word.

Ivan builds storage buildings — or rather he manages men who build storage buildings — and his buildings are high-quality buildings, the best he can make. When he sets out to sell those buildings, he has a product he is proud of. He can honestly tell customers, “When you buy this building, you are getting one of the best on the market.”

I write books, and my books are high-quality books, the best I can make. But when I set out to sell my books, it doesn’t feel like I’m selling a product…it feels like I’m selling me. “Here, have a piece of my heart, only $15. When you buy my creativity, my words, my emotions, my moments of genius, you are getting one of the best on the market.”

It creates a baffling mix of shame, pride, afraid-to-be-bragging, and vulnerability. This is especially true of Turtle Heart because I have put so much of myself into this book. I have worked on it long — had written early versions before I ever began Anything But Simple. I cried over this book, prayed for this book, stepped out of my comfort zone for this book. And because I invested so much of myself in this book, it matters deeply to me that the book do well. Surely, surely, I should get some sort of return on such a momentous investment?

But books are like children. You raise them up and then you let them go. If you worry yourself over their outcome or the impression they make, you steal your own joy out of living. The deepest joy comes in creation and in watching it grow. Later, when the book has become its own person, it is no longer yours.

At least, that’s how I think it is with children. I haven’t gotten to that end of it yet. (And Annalise, if you ever read this, you are far, far better than a book.)

Thank you to all of you who left personal notes with your orders. I haven’t figured out a way to reply through PayPal, but I saw and appreciated them.

To those who haven’t ordered Turtle Heart and would like to, visit last week’s blog for order information.

And to those of you who have already ordered and read the book through Amazon, I would appreciate it so much if you leave an honest rating or review. Those are important for future buyers.

And one more thing about marketing…it’s ever so much better if you have a partner to help you with it. I want to say a public thank you to Ivan for being my partner in every sense of the word. Honestly, without his help and encouragement and insistence on moving forward, I doubt this book would be published yet. When God brought me a husband and a business partner in the same instance, He knew what he was doing. Every author needs one. :)