2 Steps in Healing Damaged Emotions

Have you ever had a panic attack just going into Wal-Mart? 

I haven’t, but a friend of mine has. During a hurt-filled and vulnerable time of her life, just placing herself in the vicinity of other people caused her chest to tighten, made her feel light-headed, claustrophobic, and dizzy. 

I’ve experienced, during periods of change and growth, a perpetual sense of nervousness that made simple tasks—making a phone call, showing up for class—feel scary and overwhelming. During periods of loss or the fear of loss, I’ve experienced a deep sense of sorrow and the disappearance of verve. Along with those feelings came guilt, self-blame, self-hatred, lack of confidence, and lack of joy.

I don’t believe there are any quick solutions for eliminating negative emotions, but two realizations have helped me in dealing with mine. 

1. Accept your emotions. Dad told me this once, when I couldn’t stop crying, mired in a sense of sorrow I couldn’t fully explain. “You’re normal,” he said. “What you’re feeling isn’t dumb. You need to accept that before you can heal.” Emotional pain—like physical pain—points to a scratch, a scar, an unusual growth in an unusual place. If you ignore your emotions or try to deny them, if you shame yourself for feeling them, your bones will heal crooked and your heart will develop a thin, brittle edge. Cherish your emotions. They are there for a reason. 

2. Choose to step beyond your emotions. Sometimes in the middle of a funk, getting out seems hopeless, but always remember that choice is your friend. I do not intend to say choice fixes things, but that it offers a weapon with which to fight our circumstances. I remember how empowering this realization was to me during a low period, when I sat draped in depression in a Wal-Mart parking lot. At that time for me, fighting meant starting a gratitude list, praying, claiming promises, and focusing on moments. For someone else, it might mean reaching out for counseling, learning coping mechanisms, or taking medication. Regardless, we are never trapped. Every moment of every day, we are given a new opportunity to notice a sunset, a bird song, a smile. We are given a new opportunity, every minute, to ask for help, to give a hug, to notice someone’s pain or joy and participate. 

One video I found helpful. (I also shared it recently in an earlier post).

• Let Go & Trust God: Overcoming Worry. Rick Warren explores the roots of worry and the truths that will set you free. 

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This post was first written as an email devotional for Daughters of Promise, a beautifully composed and elegant magazine containing words of encouragement and wisdom from women around the country.